Sunday, August 28, 2011
Putting on my Big Girl Panties
I have a roommate. We were friends before we moved in together and are still friends today. Some days, that is debatable from my end. Because I honestly love her, I don't want to be all bitchy and stir shit up. So, instead, I let things get to me and keep them inside. Where they fester and rot and I get madder and bitchier and one day I will 'splode. Doc keeps telling me to just talk to her about these things, but I always chicken out. With someone I don't know, I will step up, right in their face, and tell them what's up, but with someone I know and love, it's totally different. I REALLY don't want to make her upset or mad or anything, but I need to make my voice heard. It doesn't help that the last time I tried this she told me that nothing I did got on her nerves. So then I felt like the bitch calling her out for stuff and I became the mean one again. But I have to remember that stating my concerns in a rational, calm way is not being mean or bitchy. I have every right to tell her when I am unhappy with things in our home. Yelling and ranting would be bad, but opening a mature dialog is not. I am so going to do it this time. For reals. I think. [/end ramble]
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I have a theory about roommating. You either need to be so close you're like family, which means you can fight with each other and still be ok; or you need to be more like acquaintances, which means you're comfortable bringing up sh*t. Anything in between in awkward, and I've seen many a friendship unravel because of roommating. It's hard to do, I sympathize. I went the "close like family" route. (My roomie and I also devised a sort of cute-language for bringing stuff up, so it didn't sound too mean.)
ReplyDeleteThing is... either you tell her, and risk her getting mad and you risk the friendship. Or you never tell her and you risk the friendship. Either way, kind of the same result, non? ;-) End of assvice.