I am defintely older, so where's the wiser?

Today I had my second interview for a recruiting job.  Even a year ago I couldn't get these people to call me back after applying, but now they found me and I think I have a good chance of getting this job.  It's full-time, permanent with benefits and a good commission package.  I should be dancing.  Instead, I am stress eating and feeling nauseous.  I don't wanna.  My last recruiting job ended with me being fired.  I was technically laid off, but they and I knew what really happened.  I deserved it, don't get me wrong, but it HURT.  Even now, I get all stressy stomach when I think about that place.  I can't drive past it.  This new job is a different company, with different policies and people and it seems like a much happier place to be.  Yet the thought of working there still makes me a bit ill.  Is it possible to have PTSD about an old job?

Right now I am in the midst of a big ole change.  The ground beneath me is shifting and sometimes I fall down.  This is by my own choice, but it's still hard.  I know that my ultimate goal is to finish school, become a paralegal and move to Seattle.  Some days that seems easier than others.  When my financial aid for school turned out to be significantly less than expected, my plans were somewhat derailed.  Now, instead of working part-time and going to school full-time, I will have to work full-time to pay the bills.  I am still going to school full-time for fall, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to hack it.  I might have to take fewer classes which means it will be that much longer before I finish.  I feel torn.  School is my priority right now.  It HAS to be!  But a girl's gotta live, and I don't know if I can go back to the broke college student lifestyle.  I keep trying to convince myself that even if I go part-time the important thing is that I stay in school.  Part of me thinks that is a cop-out. 

NO, it's not.  Getting this degree is important to me, but I refuse to give up my life for it.  I like shopping and going out with my friends and I need to do that too.  I can do both.  It will be hard, and the faster I get that piece of paper the better, but I will live through it.  Maybe just not at the job that makes me physically ill.

Putting on my Big Girl Panties

I have a roommate.  We were friends before we moved in together and are still friends today.  Some days, that is debatable from my end.  Because I honestly love her, I don't want to be all bitchy and stir shit up.  So, instead, I let things get to me and keep them inside.  Where they fester and rot and I get madder and bitchier and one day I will 'splode.  Doc keeps telling me to just talk to her about these things, but I always chicken out.  With someone I don't know, I will step up, right in their face, and tell them what's up, but with someone I know and love, it's totally different.  I REALLY don't want to make her upset or mad or anything, but I need to make my voice heard.  It doesn't help that the last time I tried this she told me that nothing I did got on her nerves.  So then I felt like the bitch calling her out for stuff and I became the mean one again.  But I have to remember that stating my concerns in a rational, calm way is not being mean or bitchy.  I have every right to tell her when I am unhappy with things in our home.  Yelling and ranting would be bad, but opening a mature dialog is not.  I am so going to do it this time.  For reals.  I think.  [/end ramble]

I hope no one was watching

So I had a job interview yesterday and the lobby had the most horrible chairs ever!  They were low to the ground, with no armrests, covered in a slippery fabric.  As I was sitting on one of them, my phone fell out of my purse onto the floor.  I reached down to grab it and slid right off the front of the chair.  I landed on my knees on the floor.  I scrambled back up and I don't think anyone saw.  I really, REALLY hope not!

Adventures in Temping

I had the GREATEST temp job today!  It lasted a little under 5 hours but gave me so much inspiration!  It also helped to pull me out of the seriously nasty funk of this past weekend and will be adding much needed money into my pay the rent fund.  All in all, it was totally worth being woken up at 7am after going to bed at 1:30. 

So, this job was hawesome.  It was The Devil Wears Prada but with boys.  The job was filling in as an assistant to a CEO because the real assistant was stuck in airport hell somewhere.  I almost had this gig on Friday, but got bumped for someone who had worked there before.  I had been warned that this "gentleman" was "difficult to work for" which was why the job paid at least $5/hr more than the average assistant job.  This morning they offered me another $1/hr on top of that.  Hell yes I will be there!

After braving the traffic across the river into the wilds of Northern Kentucky, I arrived at the offices of The Company.  The receptionist, a delightfully gay man who was also placed through the same service, chatted with me until the HR director came to lead me to the office of said CEO.  He was not in yet, neither was the office suite's other occupant - a former assistant who served his time and got promoted.  Unfortunately, no one had the passwords for the computer I was to use, so I ended up beginning to type some notes on an iPad.  Usable keyboard, my ass!  The boss came in and was nothing but pleasant to me.  His first call was because his computer "looked funny".  I couldn't find anything wrong and neither could the tech who came in.  The tech simply closed and then restarted Outlook and CEO was happy.  Next call was for copies.  Then boss came out in search of Diet Coke.  Once I finally got into the computer, this made more sense.  The usual assistant had left a document with instructions and phone numbers that almost made me laugh out loud.  Not only was there a specific procedure for dealing with the mail, there were also notes on where to find the water and Diet Coke to fill CEO's fridge.  They were across the office from each other.  Heaven forbid he be expected to grab a Coke and put it in the fridge himself.  And we for sure would never want there to be less than 10 bottles of water cooling.  One thing that impressed me was the instruction that if either of his kids called, he was to be notified IMMEDIATELY!  Of course, I knew this because of my superior detection skills.  The instructions only gave their names.  I knew they were his kids because of certain listings in his calendar.  Yes, I snooped.  I was given access to everything and I used it.  I got into the calendar and emails and all of it.  I saw that when CEO was notified that there would be a temp this morning he asked usual assistant to request that she be cute.  For reals. 

Being a temp is awesome in so many ways, not the least of which is the access without the responsibility.  When I temp, I feel able to be myself because I don't worry about impressing everyone.  If they don't like me, whatever.  I'll be gone soon anyway.  And it seems to work.  I just got a call from my recruiter that the last company I temped for has requested me back!  It's a part-time indefinite temporary position so I can still look for other work, but I'm employed in the mean time!  I'm having a GOOD DAY!

Why I Fail As a Geek

I am not a Gamer.  I wish I could be.  I remember spending hours at a time playing Zelda on the SNES.  Ah, those glorious afternoons when you picked up a controller and came to several hours later with the sun going down and bladder full to bursting.  Good times.  But anymore I just don't get into the games like I used to.  Now I am all about downloading the free for an hour trials of hidden object games from Big Fish.  I still get into them, stay up far too late and think that the hour goes by much too quickly...  Hmm.  Maybe being a gamer doesn't mean having a PS3.  Maybe it's just about enjoying the games and losing yourself in them, whatever they may be.  And maybe I should get around to buying some games to play on the roomie's Wii.  I hear that you can get House of the Dead.  Shooting zombies in the comfort of my own living room?  Count me in.

Forgot all about it

Dude! I totally forgot that I had this blog! Today, I have stuff to say to the interwebs.

WIL WHEATON HEARTED MY COMMENT!!!!!

So I was reading WWdN:iX and he mentioned a new book by the dude that wrote Fanboys, which is such an awesome flick. So I followed the linky dink to dude's blog and it turns out he will be in the Nati on the 31st! I get to meet the guy who wrote Fanboys! And hopefully get him to sign my DVD and nook! So I had to tell Mr. Wheaton how his post changed my life and also make sure he saw the pic that Allie (http://www.hyperboleandahalf.com/) drew for Jen on Epbot. Well, he not only read my comment, he hearted it and then posted the link on twitter. So then Jen goes all squee on facebook about how Wil Wheaton linked to her blog on twitter and I was all like, yeah, I did that. I feel like I made a difference in the interwebs today. And it feels gooooood.